Saturday, November 24, 2007

Birthday Insanity

November 22nd, Thanksgiving:

For Thanksgiving we went to the Plumed Horse. It's a terrific restaurant- it had a very classic feel before, now it's got a hip-per feel to it. Though I'm not a fan of "hip", the food and wine are still excellent. We had their Thanksgiving tasting menu (with the wine pairings), and it was all mind-blowingly amazing.

After dinner, we dropped Mom off at home, and headed over to the in-laws. The plan was, have some dessert, exchange names, go home.

At every in-law gathering, my SIL starts a conversation about eating brains, predominance of elderly and white child molesters, or some other random or "unsavory" topic. I feel that she does this to bait me into talking about it (which I try to do in an intelligent and academic way), and then does the teenage girl "Oh-my-God-you're-such-a-freak!" thing.

On Thanksgiving, one of the kids accidentally slipped and called her "Uncle", so she starts going on about gender reassignment. She started in about how "simple" it would be to become "Uncle".

A little knowledge can be dangerous, and I pointed out that from what I understood "M to F reassignment is usually more successful than F to M."

"M to F? F to M?" SIL asked.

"Male to Female. Female to Male," I said, and tried to leave it at that.

At this point, the discussion turned to how exactly one would construct a penis. Despite the small amount of knowledge I have, I refrained from sharing, refusing to be baited.

In my family of origin, this would be fairly common dinner conversation, without the insensitivity, in a genuine exchange of knowledge, regardless of the "appropriateness" of the dinner conversation.

After dinner, we headed home, and discussed the insanity of the sales going on the next day. Andrew mentioned that the Gilroy Outlets were starting their sales at midnight. Banana Republic was having 40% off of the whole store. Forty percent is enough for me to consider going just about anywhere.

Friday, November 23rd

Despite my plans to get up at 5 AM to be at Purlescence for the Pajama Jam Jammy sale at 6 AM, I agreed to go to the Outlets at midnight. So, at midnight, we get in the car, and drive. Around 1 AM, we are in Gilroy, stopped on 101. Not just stopped. Parked.

"It must be an accident. This can't be shopping traffic," Andrew said.

He turned on the radio. No accident.

"I'm sorry, if this is the traffic, I don't have the balls to do this," I tell Andrew, "Let's go home."

As we exited the Southbound freeway, and went over the ramp to get back North, I looked over, and for five solid miles, all you could see was bumper-to-bumper brake lights. I shuddered as we drove home.

We arrived home at 2 AM, I brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas, and fell into bed at 2:30.

5 AM: Alarm goes off. I call Cynthia to remind her that we're going, at her request. I wake Mom up. Curl up in bed for 15 more minutes to snuggle with Andrew and the dogs. (Snuggling the dogs is required, upsetting the routine is bad.)

5:30 AM: Brush teeth. Notice that my Thanksgiving makeup (applied less than 12 hours before) still looks fresh. Add nude lipstick. Wish for a swift and sudden death, since I am so tired the world is spinning. Regret all "good" ideas.

5:45 AM: Whine at Mom to get moving. Dither. Wonder if I can get out of the brunch plans I may have made before the "good" idea to go to the Gilroy sales.

6:00 AM: Start driving.

6:13 AM: Get a call from Cynthia, asking where we are. For once, we are late, and she is waiting for us. Mom and I laugh.

6:15 AM: Arrive at Purlescence. People are chipper. I collect the handful of items that I want to purchase, pay, and sit in a chair, trying to stay awake and not barf from exhaustion.

8:30 AM: Everyone finishes their purchases, and decide that they want to go to brunch. I agree.

8:45 AM: Get to Stacks, get on their ridiculous "list". Wait and complain. I secretly decide that Stacks is the devil, and I'm never going back. And their coffee sucks.

9:00 AM: Get seated. Eat. Let the Minions know that I'm planning to veg and eat cupcakes (in honor of the birthday), and they're welcome to join me.

We spent the rest of the day, spinning, knitting, vegging out, and Mom made me Devil cupcakes (at my request) based on a picture I found in Flickr.

[Photo by freakgirl, used with her permission.]

Cute, huh?
I'll post pictures of the haul from the sale later.

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