Saturday, July 18, 2009

Speaking of men in vests...

I'm going to harken back to the late '90s, and remind you that there was a man so bold as to wear a vest on network television. A man SO bold as to wear a vest, on television, shirtless.

That man is none other than Kevin Sorbo. Go ahead, laugh; I do. Not many men can pull off the shirtless vest, but I assure you, Kevin Sorbo is in those ranks. I have been powering through Hercules: The Legendary Journeys via my favorite medium for cheesy, B-Movies: Netflix Instant Watch.

Maybe it's his epic chest. Maybe it's the tight pants. Perhaps it's the Microsoft Paint special effects equivalent. Maybe it's the Hasselhoffing (definition #6). Maybe it's the timeless quotability, including classic lines like, "Slavery is just WRONG" and "I'm not just a piece of meat". Sing it, Herc.

It could very well be the intense cheese factor; take Captain Hammer, stick him in a wheel of brie, bake him, sprinkle him with toasted almonds, and he still doesn't measure up to the cheese factor that is Kevin Sorbo as Hercules.

To be fair (and balanced!), I've also queued Xena: Warrior Princess. The icing on the Herculean cake *might* be the fact that Lucy Lawless was a random red-shirty-slave-girl in an early episode, becomes Xena, then dons the hyper-masculine Romulan shoulder accoutrement. (By the way, Lucy Lawless? Crazy long legs. I even liked her as a cylon.)

No apologies, no excuses, just, "Hey, Lucy Lawless is super-hot. Let's make her a superhero." That's exactly the kind of decision making I like to see in my entertainment. Forget about continuity, just cast all willy nilly, get drunk, and write dialogue.

Hm. Sounds kind of like my dream job. Think Christian Williams needs a hand?


  1. Totally agreed with getting attractive people in nice clothing and writing wittily for them. I think this is generally why I liked Buffy, Angel and Firefly.

    Yes, they had morals and values and , blah de blatty blah - but James Marsters looked good bleached and spiky - and Stephanie Romanov did a good evil (sometimes mighty sharp looking, sometimes pretty disheveled) person!

    Three cheers for mindless fun!

  2. I like how all 3 of Lucy Lawless' characters (this is including Xena) have some sort of interaction with Hercules.

  3. Xena is definitely our heroine -- she embroiders too! That's why I have a Xena ravatar from back when I saw an episode with the dialogue:

    somebody: You embroider?!?

    Xena, threateningly: I have many skills.

  4. There is nothing wrong with a little Kevin Sorbo in a vest. The tight pants were a nice touch too.
    He had dialogue? How did I miss that?

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