Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Vegetable Jihad- Conspiracy Theory #643214877

First it was spinach. I was hurt rather deeply, because I like spinach. I'm not one of those crazy, I-eat-spinach-everyday types, but I enjoy spinach.

Next, it was lettuce. I hate lettuce. I'm sure the Lettuce Farmers of America are going to sue me (like the beef people tried to sue Oprah a few years back), but I just don't like lettuce.

Now, they're going after carrot juice. I LOVE carrot juice. I know it's not super popular, but there is nothing bad about carrot juice.

Carrot juice is delicious, nutritious, and best of all, ORANGE! If you drink enough, I have heard rumors that your skin takes on a more carrot-like appearance.

Here is my conspiracy theory:

The Atkins people are trying to eliminate everything good and make this a protein only world. Protein is cool, but sadly, it is inferior to more delicious things like carbohydrates and fiber. In the face of a world full of crazy diets, I stand alone in my fight for delicious food.

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