Sunday, October 15, 2006

The Boyfriend Sweater Curse

I'll say it plainly: I think it's crap. Stupider than an urban legend. Stupider than the word "stupider", also.

I say this with conviction because I am living proof that it doesn't happen. I've made sweaters for two of my boyfriends (in the past, of course) who certainly did not dump me. Obviously, some dumping happened but there was in no way any correlation to the date the sweater was completed and the dumping date. Both sweaters were given six months to a year into the relationship. Any dumping took place a year and a half later (except for the one I married, obviously).

As further proof, I present Exhibit B, Grace. Again, a sweater was knitted, much time lapsed, and dumping occurred- but again, completed unrelated to the giving of the sweater.

Perhaps the issue is not in the knitting and giving of the sweater, rather, that these knitters suffer from Premature Sweater Syndrome. If in the early development stages of a relationship a knitter develops PSS, the other party feels that they, in accepting the sweater, have given implicit consent to a long-term, serious relationship.

I think that these men/women are correct in this assumption. Would I knit for a one-night stand? The chances are slim. However, if I'm giving 100+ hours of my life (in the form of a giant garment on itty-bitty needles, as has been the case), this should be interpreted as, "I really like you and I feel secure in our existing relationship enough to give you a thing of great beauty." [Or, in the case of Zak's sweater, miles of solid reverse-stockinette.]

You could equate PSS to proposing on a first or second date. [NOTE: If you proposed to someone on a first/second date and it has worked out, good for you. I, however, would find it odd/creepy.] Nothing will scare away a partner like the threat of a longer termed commitment than they anticipated.

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