Saturday, October 29, 2011

Disorganized sounds

SharkBean hasn't even been born yet, and I can just hear my nomination for "worst mother of the year".

Let me explain.

The other night, I heard a thump in the bedroom. This isn't unusual for a couple of reasons- one being that I'm not sleeping as soundly as I used to (YAY! Third trimester!), the other being that the dogs come and go out of our room during the night, and Elphie will none-too-delicately thump her furry self down next to the bed. She is remarkably loud for a 30 pounds-soaking-wet dog.

But this was a *different* thump. It was what I would call a "disorganized sound"- meaning, normally you hear her butt, then her elbows hit the hardwood. Orderly. This was just one, strange thump. One strange thump, I could disregard, despite the fact that my spider senses were a'tinglin'. When I heard a second, and a third, my spider senses were on full alert.

I turned on the light on my nightstand, searing my own retinas, got on the floor (easier said than done, for the record) and saw that Elphie's dewclaw had gotten caught and somehow twisted on her (charming) ear fur. Seriously caught.

I propped her face and paw on my knee, and woke Andrew up, since I knew that if *I* got up and got the scissors, chaos would ensue. (Niki would discover that OMG! Elphie was getting MORE ATTENTION RIGHT NOW!) Also, if you thought sitting on the ground was a production, getting up off of the ground? Not a subtle or simple endeavor.

With surgical speed and precision, Andrew and I separated Elphie's paw from her ear, for which we were rewarded with nose kisses and snuggles (a la The Lion's Paw, remember that book?), all without waking Niki up. Still, the guilt. It PLAGUES me.

(Mom has informed me that Mommy Guilt is the most pervasive kind- she has guilt over things that happened more than twenty years ago. For the record, I've forgiven her for everything *except* the saddle shoes. And mostly forgiven her on those, too.)

Lesson learned: hear a funny noise, get up right away. At least then the guilt isn't "I let this go on for fifteen minutes." Then it's just "MAH POOOR BAYBEEEEEEE!"

Right, Mom?


  1. Poor doggie! You are a good doggie-mom, so I know you'll be an awesome SharkBean mom. Even when you unwittingly create your own variation on 'saddle shoes'. :)

  2. I firmly believe that anyone who takes great care of their animals will be even better SharkBean parents! I hope you are feeling great!

  3. The same thing happened to my little Peke last week. He was scratching with his hind foot and got it caught in his ear fur. He cried a couple times and I knew something was wrong when he tried to get up and come to me. I just detangled and the trimmed nails and his extra ear fur. He's fine now. :)

  4. You have a way to go to earn honors of worst mother of the year -- I captured that title when my then teenage boy was moaning about how much his hand hurt after a soccer game. My cursory examination concluded it was just a little sprained thumb. The x-ray four days later concluded it was broken. Oops!! He's forgiven me...but I never made him wear saddle shoes. :-)

  5. Have faith - you will be a great mom!

  6. You will be a great mom and you will make mistakes. I think if I had to do it all over again, I would STILL make mistakes.

  7. I have a teenager daughter and have been told numerous times in the past 24 hours that I'm the meanest, worst Mom. So, don't worry~the title already belongs to me :)

  8. Jasmin,
    Only people who are good parents worry about being "the worst parent in the world".
    Besides, you can't be the worst. There are many of us in line before you.
    One of my daughters "hated" me on a regular basis because I was "mean and hateful and trying to ruin my life!" I just told her that if I was keeping her from doing "what everyone else is" then I was doing my job. She never hated me for long and I'm happy to say she loves me now.


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