Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Ready for my close up

Did anyone else catch Catherine Zeta-Jones' performance from "A Little Night Music" on the Tony Awards? Granted, I didn't get to watch it until earlier this week (yay, DVR!!!). When I did, I found her performance (to say the least) distressing.

First, let's start with her Norma Desmond-esque nose flares and patented Crazy Eyes. She even had it on the red carpet. See:



Practically twins. I wish that was the most upsetting part of her performance, but alas, CZ-J continued to butcher Sondheim like she was preparing his work for a dish in Sweeney Todd. The abuse of dramatic seizura was particularly Shatner-esque, but lacked the charm that he had as he originated the. Dramatic. Pause. (See? Not cute.)

On top of that, she was twitching like an epileptic chihuahua throughout the song. Initially, I had hoped that she was searching for a camera to sing to, but when she closed her eyes and continued to flail, I lost hope. If I was a doctor, I would have been reaching for the phenobarbitol. I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so sorry Catherine- you'll have to hit up your HMO.

What *killed* me is that, time after time, "famous" actors (from TV and film) took home the Tony Awards over the folks who - in my opinion - had actually earned their nomination, rather than their big names. I understand that big names draw crowds to the theater, and without seats being filled, theater will die.

Do I blame the American Theater Wing? You betcha. Sure, nominate the famous people, but when Denzel Washington couldn't remember *who* was giving him the award, I was agog. I'm sure he was brilliant in "Fences", but really? Denzel isn't winning any Emily Post awards, that's for sure.

In case you haven't seen it yet, and are in the mood to writhe on the floor screaming "STOP!", and wishing that someone *would* send in the clowns to haul her offstage, here you go, but don't say I didn't warn you:


11 comments:

  1. i wonder how hard the camera men were laughing on those close ups? hilarious-

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  2. I think she had the Shatner-esque pauses because she didn't have the lung capacity to make it through the full phrase without breathing again. I was worried for her neck, with her head flipping back and forth. She could have really hurt herself!

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  3. I had to look down at my knitting during that part of the Tony's because I couldn't stand to watch her anymore. And when she won the Tony for best actress I screamed at the TV. I haven't seen any of this year's performances, but I'm familiar with the other nominated actresses and it was an impressive group of performers. Love Sherie Renee Scott!

    I can imagine that Ms. Zeta-Jones acting in the rest of the performance is better than the butchering of this song, especially with Angela Lansbury on stage with her. But it is hard to imagine WHY she would get the Tony when her performance very clearly ruins one of the most poignant moments of the show.

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  4. Bless her heart, she's not aging that well, is she. :(

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  5. You warned me. . .so I had to watch. . .yikes! I should have listened. . .I will never get back that 3 minutes. . .sooo sad!

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  6. Now, Jasmin, you're not being fair. Her cue cards were stage left while her vocal coach was stage right and her assistant had spilled the whole bag of Ricola lozenges into her mocha frap right before her performance. What's a Tony-winning actress to do?

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  7. The funniest part was her husband clapping madly in a close-up following the performance - probably the only one who did.

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  8. And made all the worse by the dangly earrings!

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  9. I watched it on The Soup and thought, "Dude, she's pretty pissed abt missing those damn clowns"

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  10. You nailed it, Jasmin! You can provide commentary for anything I watch from now on. :)

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  11. Wow, you weren't kidding -- that was almost unwatchable.

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