Saturday, February 21, 2009

Dear Joss

Dear Joss;

I would like to start this letter by saying, I am a fan. Buffy is a favorite of mine, Angel was a great spin-off, Firefly and Serenity were awesome, and Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog was inspired. When I heard the murmurs about "Dollhouse", I was excited at the prospect of a show that embodied the dry wit, creativity, and sympathetic characters that are your trademarks.

However, there are a few issues I would like to address with you about "Dollhouse". Before I do, I would like to applaud your commitment to recycling: I love that the Wolfram and Hart set is being repurposed for this show. That having been said, the first and most important point that I want to make is that you need to hire me, because clearly, there is nobody on your writing staff who could tell the difference between "exuberant" and "exorbitant". I do, and this makes me uniquely qualified, it would seem. Let me explain.

When one is discussing very high prices, while one can be exuberant while spending an exorbitant amount of money, an "exuberant price" just doesn't make sense. The OED is totally in agreement with me on this. To tell you that these sort of oversights are remarkably uncharacteristic of your work feels unnecessary. Clearly, this needed to be said.

Second, I understand that sex sells. However, the dance sequence in pilot where the lovely Ms. Dushku's crotch and butt hang out from the bottom of her dress is both tacky and perpetuates the corollary "Less clothing = More sexy", where the whole "Less is more" idiom really means "Less flesh = more sexy". (It's ok; idioms can be tricky to interpret!)

I know that Ms. Dushku has a lovely body, but the gratuitous nudity is a bit heavy-handed. (Especially that Dollhouse-themed Hulu commercial, where her breasts are bouncing so enthusiastically that they eclipse the content of her dialog. I actually heard myself squealing a "SERIOUSLY?!" that would put the Grey's Anatomy girls to shame.)

Third, and most important: you need to hire me- or ANYONE who isn't a sycophant for that matter - to tell you that this has been done, and better. "Dollhouse" is a cross between "Dark Angel" and "Alias" but with severe brain damage. I may have also described this program as a "steaming turd".

I'll be waiting for your call, and look forward to working with you in the future.

Best regards,



  1. Ok....I had to grab the dictionary but then I LMFAO!!!!!
    They MUST hire you.

  2. LOL!! I haven't seen the 2nd episode yet, but the first one did suck.

  3. I tried but I couldn't get through the first episode. I am either too old or it really did suck. I loved Dark Angel and Dollhouse looked promising but I must not be hip enough to get it anymore.

  4. At the start of that dance scene in the pilot I actually turned to Josh and said, "That dress isn't short enough; I can't see her vagina."

    Hadn't seen the Hulu commercial... wow... that was... bouncy.

    I hadn't caught the word problem, but any writer should know better.

    I think you've hit the nail on the head of it being a blend of Dark Angel and Alias, and I've never seen Alias. But I do think that Jessica Alba is a better actress than Eliza Dushku.

  5. I agree, Eliza is hot, but holy crap- I didn't need to see ALL of her in that dress either.

  6. I must agree, I was hopeful that we were going to have a new show to watch, but it is so similar to the ones you mentioned and worse. Too bad.


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