Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Finger

I know you're all chomping at the bit to hear about my adventures in St. Louis, and you will my preciousssssssses. (Actually, if you really are, you can hear the recap here.) But first I must tell you about my Magic Finger.

I was leaving yoga, and I was planning to hit the Farmer's Market. I usually hit the one by my house, but I was in the mood for some variety, so I called Andrew up to see if he wanted to join me for a trip out to the Mountain View Farmer's Market. It's twice the size of ours and has loads of good stuff. (I used to go to that one when I was doing yoga in Mountain View.)

As we pulled in to park, I saw the mayhem in the first aisle. Cars were stopped, bumper-to-bumper, hoping to get into a spot. The next aisle was as clear as a summer's day, and so, I calmly turned there.


At that moment, a car overheated, so I calmly stepped on my brakes. What happened - in nanoseconds- took my idyllic aisle and turned it into what felt like a major intersection in the Middle East. People were driving on the wrong side of the road, doing three point turns at Warp 9, and OH! the road rage.

I kept my cool, and saw a guy walking up by my car, to get into a car next to me. I hit my turn signal like it was an adrenaline shot to the heart and patiently waited for him to pull out of the parking spot. As soon as my near and dear friend had cleared out, I slowly scooted up to calmly turn into my spot.

At that very moment, an Opportunist squealed around the corner with the express purpose of nabbing my spot. Mind you, my signal had been on and I had been waiting patiently. It was precisely that scene from Fried Green Tomatoes, and I was Kathy Bates. I *might* have felt a Towanda moment coming on.

As I saw it happening, I stepped on my brakes, shook my index finger at them and yelled "NO! NO! NO!" as if they were a small child and I was their sweet-but-strict British nanny. (In my imagination, sometimes I'm British.)

They stopped cold.

I couldn't believe it. That had worked! My finger had a superpower!

While Andrew laughed himself silly, repeating, "I can't believe that worked!" I calmly pulled into the spot and parked.

... and also *might* have - with the windows rolled up - yelled "TOWANDA!" triumphantly. Just maybe.


  1. That is hilarious!

    (in my mind, sometimes I'm British, too)

  2. Isn't it wonderful that something so simple can be so effective? Several years ago, I walked into a much too loud school assemble and said, "Sh-h-h," and the entire auditorium got quiet. For a while there, the other teachers were sure that I had super powers like yours.

  3. I can just see the face of the other driver. Bravo!


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