Friday, December 16, 2005

'Tis the season of the eternal question: To Knit or Not To Knit?

I'm a good knitter. I'm not going to be all braggy and say I'm the best. I'm not. There are techniques I haven't done because of lack of interest and time. There are techniques that I love (CABLES!), and things I knit to keep my sanity (socks).

It's the time of year when everyone in my circle of acquaintances asks if I'm knitting for everyone. The answer is NO. I am knitting for no one this year. If you don't count Mom's six-inch red square, at her request. But she's my mother, who gave birth to me and that counts for something. Even if she was only in labor with me for 45 minutes. (Anyone who takes more than an hour to be born is a bad child. Ha!)

There are people who feel obligated to knit for everyone. I tried that one year. I got two gifts in and decided that other gifts would be more appreciated, and wouldn't give me tendinitis. What a deal! For the cost of the yarn for each project, I could give them something that was thoughtful, and not the fruit of my needles. And not agonize over whether they would ever wear it. I think I was 16 the year I figured that out.

Knitters appreciate handknit gifts. If you're handing out lace shawls, put me at the top of your list. I like Zephyr (silk/wool blend), and I'll even buy the yarn. You bet I'm not knitting one of those. Lace like that hurts my eyes. But I LOVE to wear it, and it looks good on me. Other than that, I appreciate the beauty of handknit stuff. On other people, because it's like giving the Ice Cream Man a tub of vanilla ice cream. It's not exciting, and it's a little redundant.

I feel you, LovingHands. You want to clothe the world in your love. But if you knit for everyone, chances are, your intentions are better than your handwork. Most of your recipients won't gush over your pieces, and you'll be angry that they don't appreciate you. Sad but true.

My feelings on the matter? Make them BEG for knitted gifts. That's right. You wait, you don't knit for your friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/friend with benefits until they BEG for it. Like so:

"Jasmin, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease make me some socks. I love handknit socks. I would do ANYTHING for a pair of your socks."

Let's face it, according to the laws of supply and demand, the more of your stuff that is in circulation, the less people will want it. Most people don't want it anyway. Not your teenaged niece- especially not your teenaged nephew, and FSM forbid you knit for you Significant Other. You know why boyfriend sweaters are the kiss of death? Because they see a sweater you made for yourself, since they're not the sweater-wearing type. They see YOUR sweater in their drawer, and girl, you might as well have moved in all your stuff that day. He sees you forcing commitment into his dresser drawers and he wants NO part in that. There you are, dumped, wanting YOUR sweater back. But it's not your sweater anymore, because you GAVE it away.

See? All this pain, when you could have given him an Xbox game, or something else x-rated instead. The moral of this post? Make them beg for that handknit love goodness.

-Santa's meanest elf.

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