Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Danger Dilemma

Spring has arrived in the Bay Area. One of the many great things about this point in Genevieve's development is that we can take her outside and let her run, jump, and explore.
"Behold, all this. My Mousedom!"
The problem with this is that she wants to run, jump, and explore. You see my dilemma? Fortunately, Andrew is a roughing-it, rock climbing, camping type. And this is where we run into what I affectionately call the "Danger Dilemma".

Andrew is a brilliant man, and an incredibly loving father, but crazy hormones and irrational fears about danger lurking EVERYWHERE have led to some come to Jesus sane, logical, and loving conversations with my mother about differences in parenting technique, which we bonded over.

Very distinguished with her walking stick
Conversation #1 - The Stick
Me: I can't believe he's letting her play with a stick. A stick! She's going to impale herself.
Mom: It's not a sharp stick. He's right there.
Me: But! It's a STICK!
Mom: What do you think children have been playing with for THOUSANDS of years? Now drink your coffee.

Dressed for action.
Conversation #2 - How high is too high?
Me: Do you think he's throwing her too high?
Mom: No.
Me: It seems really high.
Mom: Genevieve seems to be enjoying herself.
Me: I think I should say something. He's throwing her above the roofline.
Mom: [Pause.] I think you should drink your coffee.

Maybe not *quite* the roofline, but still.
Despite my worries, I stand back and watch the two of them have a good time outside, occasionally venturing out to take a few pictures and steal a few kisses. Andrew and Genevieve have their own relationship, outside of me, and it's a pleasure - mostly - to observe it from a short distance.
Her giggles say, "Fly me HIGHER, Daddy!"
I'm sure I'm not the first, and I won't be the last mom to worry. But, kids need a little danger, right?


  1. You are both raising a wonderful child who is not afraid to explore her world. Kids who are overly sheltered show up at school not being able to do anything on their own, and not willing to try a new experience.

    Remember, it looks really high because it's really high TO YOU. Consider the fact that Andrew is taller than you are (is that news? ). Sure, MissG is going way high, but in reality, she's not going that high compared to where she started in his arms.

    Mom's right: have some coffee.

  2. They do need a litte's all part of learning about the world and gaining some independence, but I'm with you on how scary it feels as a Mum. My husband has always been more chilled out than me when it comes to the boys. He lets them walk near water and I'm saying 'Be careful! They might fall in'. But they never have :)

  3. Oh I love you!! How I felt like this and still do but trust he loves her and he wouldn't do anything he didn't think was safe or he has control of. Also there might be scraps and bruises but she will be ok! And let her play in dirt!! Surprisingly I am the one who lets Carmen play on dirt and not her daddy! ;)

  4. She looks like she is turning into a brave and fearless little girl, filled with joy. She is going to grown into an amazing person. Just keep biting your tongue, talking to your Mom and drinking your coffee.

  5. You have exactly described the early days with my kids and my husband. I spent all my time worrying that they would get injured or hurt by how rough daddy played with them or how he allowed to them be in "dangerous" situations. At 14 and 16 now, it makes me laugh (and feel a tiny bit sad) that I was so worried. They survived and so shall you and G. =)

  6. Oh this is so, so true. I have to stop myself from being a constant stream of negative warnings to my six year old.
    "Careful here".
    "Look both ways!"
    "Watch out, that's sharp"
    "Don't bump your head"
    "Stop swinging on that."
    "Careful, that's wet."

    He's injured himself and gone to the ER before (burned twice) and you know what, he might do it again. We'll all live. I am trying to keep myself only to the warnings against life-threatening danger, and let him learn for himself about slipping on wet tiles.

  7. I'm just going to gently point out that children live up to the names we give them.

    And then bring you a pound of coffee. And maybe a bottle of wine.

  8. Right, they do need a little "supervised" danger. Listen to your wise mom. You are doing the best thing for Daddy and Baby by watching from a distance, I didn't always keep my mouth closed and I regret that. So take it from someone who's been there done that. Cringe quietly and smile. She will be fine, and they will be more than fine :)

  9. You did name her Danger... But seriously, I'm sure I'd be the same way. I was like that when I took my friends 6 year old to the game this year. Controlled danger is good though. It helps develop more confident, self-reliant kids. It's great that you have your mother their to help you through it. More coffee or maybe some wine.

  10. OK I won't lie that made me cringe at first! It was my little man favorite game and the one I hated the most. I did tell my DH how I felt and he assured me it would be OK. It was. Now I'm a hockey mom and that has a whole nuther ball of wax. The pictures are the best!

  11. I can totally relate to this. I am the over-worrier in our household also, but I'm guessing that's somewhat typical. :O)


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