Conspiracy Theory 546432157- Battlestar Galactica

Last night I was flipping through the Tivo and noticed that there were four episodes of Battlestar Galactica. My first thought was "I should watch those."

Why? I'm not a Battlestar Galactica fan. I couldn't really get into it.

Oh yeah, maybe the difference is that I had an AWESOME dream a while back about making out with Apollo. Somehow, the show has new appeal.

Which leads to Jasmin's Conspiracy Theory 546432157: Battlestar Galactica used the naked Apollo/Starbuck scene to hook people who aren't into the show. I mean, who can resist those man creases?

The Vegetable Jihad- Conspiracy Theory #643214877

First it was spinach. I was hurt rather deeply, because I like spinach. I'm not one of those crazy, I-eat-spinach-everyday types, but I enjoy spinach.

Next, it was lettuce. I hate lettuce. I'm sure the Lettuce Farmers of America are going to sue me (like the beef people tried to sue Oprah a few years back), but I just don't like lettuce.

Now, they're going after carrot juice. I LOVE carrot juice. I know it's not super popular, but there is nothing bad about carrot juice.

Carrot juice is delicious, nutritious, and best of all, ORANGE! If you drink enough, I have heard rumors that your skin takes on a more carrot-like appearance.

Here is my conspiracy theory:

The Atkins people are trying to eliminate everything good and make this a protein only world. Protein is cool, but sadly, it is inferior to more delicious things like carbohydrates and fiber. In the face of a world full of crazy diets, I stand alone in my fight for delicious food.

It’s Probably Not Healthy

(or, Conspiracy Theory #467541564897)

We've re-started our Netflix membership, and after doing Tivo alone for 8 months I have realized that Tivo and Netflix are working in collusion.

Stay with me on this one.

Tivo looks at what we choose to record and makes suggestions, like a good friend. Without the pressure, you know? It's like this:

Tivo: "Hi Jasmin, you're awesome. You'd probably like House, MD."

Jasmin: "I don't know. I guess I could give it a try. One episode won't be too bad. Even if it is, I can always turn it off."

Tivo: "You're so open-minded, and not at all set in your ways."

Jasmin "Thanks, Tivo. Nobody understands me like you do."

Ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY like that, but you get the point. Anyway, before I even started watching "House", I had a dream about Dr. House.

You know. One of THOSE dreams. Very vivid. 'Nuff said. I figured I should at least watch the show to find out if my dream was even close. It was. [His personality. I can't vouch for the rest.]

So because of Tivo, we're Netflixing the first two seasons to catch up, and I'm a crazy House addict.

I mean, I don't get all shaky and get withdrawal symptoms if I don't watch. And I haven't started saving them forever on the Tivo. [Yet.] I haven't bought it on DVD.

I don't have a problem. I can quit whenever I want. * wink *

The “Ball Of Yarn" Effect

I have a theory about time.

When you are knitting from the outside of a ball of yarn, the closer you get to the end of the ball, the faster your yarn runs out.

(So, the same time that it originally took for one circle of yarn around the ball gets seemingly exponentially smaller.)

So, running with my ball of yarn metaphor, as you get older, time seems to pass more quickly.

Just a thought.

The Netflix Conspiracy

I'm not normally a conspiracy theorist, but the last two weeks have caused me to raise a suspicious eyebrow.

Normally, the cycle goes like this:

Day 1 Watch DVD.
Day 2 Mail DVD. Usually it's received the same day, otherwise it is recieved on Day 3.
Day 3 DVD is recieved, next DVD is mailed.
Day 4 Get the next DVD at home.

The four day turnaround isn't bad. It gives us time to cycle out and have one DVD at a time to watch. Usually. The last two weeks have had nearly a full week for turnaround time. Now, four days means that you can have two sets of DVDs a week, if you remember to drop the watched ones in the mail. We all know that since there is nothing good on the El Cheapo cable on Mondays (and most other nights), it is critical to have DVDs arrive in a timely fashion.

"So where is the conspiracy?" you ask.

See, we have the standard, 3-Disc plan. We have been perfectly happy with this arrangement; it's less expensive than fancy schmancy cable. So, in order for them to really get us to spend money with them, they're trying to make us up our plan so that we never run out of commercial-free entertainment.

Ok, maybe it's not a *real* conspiracy. But it TOTALLY could be. The really stupid thing is that I work around the corner from their headquarters. If it was their headquarters/master distribution center I could totally walk in, grab my DVDs, and save them exactly $2.4 gazillion** dollars on our household ALONE.

**Amount subject to interpretation.