The Da Vinci Code… of my pants.

In July, I decided that belt buckles were the ultimate accessory and bought five of them. (Four for me, one for Andrew.) Given that July, August, and the better part of this month have been SUPER-HOT, I haven’t had much occasion for a belt.

Yesterday, I decided that since I was in meetings for a good part of the day (in enthusiastically air-conditioned conference rooms), I would wear jeans, and my new Superman belt buckle.

So, I drank a cup of tea while driving in, and fifteen minutes into working, I needed to use the restroom. No big deal, I walked in, closed the door behind me, and went to undo my belt-

Stuck.

That can’t be. I can open a belt. I’m probably pulling at the wrong angle.

No, it’s stuck.

Oh my god. What if I can’t get out of my pants? What if I pee all over myself at work because I couldn’t undo my buckle?!

I start to panic. Seriously, sweating, prayer, the whole enchilada. With one desperate tug, the belt mercifully frees me. I nearly wept with joy.

It felt like a flashback to kindergarten. You know, when you’re trapped in your overalls? Except that I could always wiggle out under the straps.

In discussing this with Andrew last night, I announced that it would be The Most Embarrassing Thing Ever to wet your pants at work because you couldn’t undo your buckle.

Lessons I learned? Test the buckle/belt combo BEFORE leaving the house. Also, go to the bathroom before it becomes urgent. You never know when you’ll be trapped in your pants.

Helping hands

I believe that knitters are generally very helpful people. The post about my recent bout of insomnia drew out a fair amount of empathetic- and helpful - commentary in my inbox.

Heather, of CraftLit notoriety, directed me to this interview on NPR about insomnia on Talk of the Nation. Part of the interview addressed how different people (and the medical industry) deals with insomnia.

There was also a link between people who suffer from migraines and insomnia. Oh, and the hormonal thing. (I hate when anything is linked to hormones. It feels like a second coming of the Hysteria argument. Ugh.)

Dr. B mentioned a while back that he read a study that revealed that type A women tended to have a higher incidence of migraines. While, at the time, it sounded more anecdotal than scientific, there is a "duh" quotient. (Not "Duh, I knew that already. More "Duh, why didn't I think of that?". Does anyone still say "duh"?)

I looked up "type A personality", and came up with this (from Wikipedia):

"Theoretically, people who fall under Type A generally exhibit characteristics such as being time-conscious, highly competitive, direct and more assertive, and less relaxed.^[1] Type A individuals are often high-achievers who multi-task, and are unhappy with delays. ^[2]"

<sup>Of course, if you're competitive and less relaxed, you're more likely to suffer from sleeplessness, and migraines have been linked to sleeplessness. The whole thing is a cyclical disaster.

Complaining ends today, when I start knitting Auntie Desiree's baby sweater.</sup>

Insomnia

I’ve been flirting with insomnia since the cruise. There was one night, when the fabulous Sharon gave me an acupuncture relaxation treatment and I slept for twelve blissful hours. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I was when I woke up, refreshed.

I’ve been battling the lack of quality sleep for a while now, but this is the first time I’ve felt like a true insomniac. I can’t really fall asleep, and when I finally do, I wake up with incredible frequency. In lieu of being frustrated, I’ve decided to use the extra time to do things like read, write, knit, and catch up with my TiVo.

I’m also using the time to plan my wardrobe so I don’t kill myself in the morning trying to make it look like my clothes didn’t jump out of the closet and attack me. This is better for everyone- trust me.

I’ve got an appointment with Dr. B this week, and I’m debating taking the sleep meds that my regular doctor prescribed. (I stopped because they made me perpetually drowsy. I also didn’t want a pill to fix the problem.)

Maybe I’m not spending enough time at the spinning wheel. Maybe the issue is that I spent ten days away from the spinning wheel, and my brain has interpreted it as a major deficit.

While I don’t really like how I feel, the upside is that I am getting a lot accomplished. I’ve always felt like I don’t have enough time to do the things that I want.

Instead of being frustrated and tossing and turning, I’ve added a few things to the nightstand to pass the time- knitting, a notebook, and Tika’s copy of The Poisonwood Bible. I understand that this will pass with time, but I figure, why not use the extra time?

Lessons

Things I have learned:

There is no way to deny that a curly, hot pink hair in someone else's knitting isn't yours.

Where I'll be today:

Color: A Fiber Festival

You know how to find me.

A Genius With A “J”

I may be, without a doubt, the most absent-minded person who ever lived.

I check the weather every day, sometimes, several times a day. I could tell you last week that it was going to rain last night. Did I remember to roll up the windows that I left cracked?

No.

Did I realize this when I got into the car this morning?

Yes.

Do I have a wet spot on my pants from sitting in a damp seat?

You betcha.

Things that annoy me

1. People who say "kin-nee-garten" instead of "kindergarten".

2. People who say "pitcher" and are referring to a photo or drawing, not a baseball guy.

3. Loud chewers/ people who chew with their mouths open/ people who smack their lips in appreciation. Although I am under the impression that this is considered polite in some Asian cultures, none of the offenders has had any link to the far East (other than possibly a fetish).

There are more, but I thought I would post those for now.