Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE

When I get a few spare minutes, I read blogs. Imagine my surprise when I read Lisa's post about her trip (a while back) to the Asian Art Museum in SF. I was pleasantly surprised to have embodied one/some of the wrathful deities in this picture:

(Picture courtesy of Gretchdragon)

If you go through and read the bit about the wrathful deities, maybe she's not so far off.

But you know what they say: Looks can be deceiving... or can they?

Pink-ed!

I have been seeing the same hairdresser since I was six years old. Suzi is incredibly good, and she knows how to cut and style curly hair for the wash-and-wear crowd. (Ahem, moi.)

Last year, I asked her to bleach my hair and dye it blue. She was convinced that I would be fired from my job if I had blue hair.

"How about blonde?" She suggested.
"How about blue?" I replied.

I appreciate that she cares about keeping me employed- but in Silicon Valley, funky hair is totally ok. Really, really. I tried to assure her that it's practically *required* that one has funky hair.

Nope, she won't do it. I think she's worried about Hair Remorse. Hair Remorse is like buyer's remorse- but worse. Because it's stuck to your head. With color changes, unless your hair melts, you can over-dye. With a misguided cut, you have two choices: wait it out or wear a hat.

So I figured out a system. Have Suzi make me a blonde, and have Kaye make me Pink.

I can't wait.

It's beginning to seem a lot like... Christmas?

I would like to announce that I have bought both my mother's AND Andrew's Christmas gifts. I have also found a day for the Minion annual Holiday Extravaganza, and begun planning what I'd like set up for the holidays.

Also- does anyone know where I could get a prop guillotine for Halloween?

Here's my vision:

-Set up the guillotine in the front yard with a headless body. [This will be accomplished by stuffing some clothes with newspaper. I know, I'm truly an original thinker.]

-A puddle of red stuff at the base of the guillotine. [Ketchup/BBQ sauce on Saran Wrap so I don't stain the driveway.]

-Put a fake head in the bowl of candy.

-Knit with white wool. Use red dye to simulate blood spatter.

-Dress up in appropriate costume, sit and knit in front of the house, hand out candy. Speak with a bad French accent.

Strategic Planning

As Cindy pointed out- packing, moving, staging and fixing all take time. However will I finish the shawl in time- even WITH the spreadsheet?

I have come up with a list of strategies:

• Knit during my breaks at work and during lunch. I managed to hit my quota last Friday doing this.
• Take a vow of silence- I only managed to knit four rows at knit night last week.
• Quit sleeping. It seems to be a waste of 8-9 hours a night, since I wake up exhausted.
• Sub-contract the work. Ursula offered to knit on the shawl to expedite its completion.

More ideas to come.

My L.A. Plan

Some people have a "Vegas" plan (mine is to win a million dollars, that's all), so for your reading pleasure: my L.A. plan.

I have a one-hour layover at LAX on my way to Maryland Sheep & Wool. During the time that I am in L.A., I am going to be discovered. Grace wanted to know what I would be discovered for, and I think that's a pesky detail. I said acting (talent is another of those pesky details), or writing (because I'm not an exceptional writer- but you know that already).

So here's how it's going to happen:

Jasmin: [strolling to her gate in LAX, with Mom and Cynthia]

Casting Person: You there! With the curly hair! [points at Jasmin]

Jasmin: Me? [Looks around]

Casting Person: Yes, you! You are EXACTLY what I need for my next movie. Don't worry, it's not a hobbit role. You'll be the short, curly, lead in my show [insert show here]. Alternative line: [You'll be the short, curly, supporting actress on my show!]

Jasmin: Okay! But I have to go to Maryland now. Have your people call my people.

See how easy that is? If only.

Fun Stuff

There are a couple of huge boxes in front of my office. I'm tempted to drag them inside, build a fort and answer my phone "Fort Shanty".

More Placenta, Please!

The topic of eating placentas came up on KnitFlame, so for your reading pleasure, here is my Evil Plan for the Andrew/Jasmin baby placenta.

Step 1: Have the baby. Bring it home, with the placenta.

Step 2: Invite over all of Andrew's siblings and their families.

Step 3: Serve a stew that looks like it could be placental stew.

Step 4: While they are eating, casually mention "placental stew".

Step 5: Mention all of the health benefits of aforementioned placental stew.

Step 6a: Let them wonder if they just ate placental stew.

or

Step 6b: Jump up on the table and sing "Ha ha ha ha ha ha, made you eat PLACENTA!" (to the tune of the "Made you eat your parents!" taunt that Cartman sings in "Scott Tennemann must die".)