It Is Too Small

So very, very, very much too small.

No, blocking won't help. You may ask, "Jasmin, did you swatch?"

Yes. The math LIED. Evil, betrayer math! If you compare the Alice Starmore Gansey to it, Andrew's sweater was more…. my size. However, on the good side, the ASG fits perfectly.

So, I started working on the ASG again, and I'm finding that I'm enjoying working on it tremendously, and it's not as difficult as I remember it being. The bonus of the ASG is that it's about halfway up the armhole (front and back- I'm planning on steeking the armholes and the neck), which means it's pretty close to being done.

I have noticed that it's not as easy to work on a navy blue sweater with a changing stitch pattern. This wasn't a problem three years ago, but now I need much better light.

The pattern itself is rather soothing in it's predictability. Left-leaning diagonals, diamonds, arrows, pseudo-cable thingy, diamonds, arrows, right leaning diagonals. The charts are intelligently written (except for the minor error, but I figured that one out early on), and the armhole gussets are flat-out sexy. When I was in college, I couldn't find someone to understand and appreciate the sheer sexiness of the gussets, but now I have the MOTPS to marvel over the sexiness that is the armhole gussets.

So here's the plan for Christmas- we're planning on doing low-budget, handmade gifts (we have a remodel we're planning for after the holidays, which is going to cost us some lettuce), and Andrew asked for one of his UFO sweaters to be finished, and for two pairs of socks. He was realistic in his expectations, since my job keeps inconveniently interfering with my knitting time. So, I've gotten started on both pairs of socks, and put about an inch on the sweater over the weekend.

What's going to happen with the Lisa Souza Fair Isle? I'm using it as a giant swatch and I'm going to start from the beginning.

Now, I will leave you with a "purl" of wisdom, from my mother:

"As ye knit, so shall ye rip."

My Wooly Valentine

Andrew and I found a solution for the conflict between Stitches and the Yarn Diet. Andrew, being a smart (and wonderful) man, understands that you cannot go to a knitting event of epic proportions- Stitches West- and not buy stuff.

Unless you're Sabrina. Or like Sabrina. In that case, good for you. I, however, did not have a giant wedding (and therefore didn't have giant bills to pay afterwards), so I really feel that she is an anomaly amongst knitters. I can't do that.

So here is the compromise: I can buy ONE Space Bag full of yarn. There is no limit on stuff that isn't yarn. This works for me, as I believe(d) that I may even bring a PARTIALLY filled Space Bag home, in a sincere effort to not overbuy.

Then I read Lisa Souza's blog. She is a beautiful, wonderful, funny, amazingly talented woman. Having said that…

Lisa Souza is the devil.

She has loads of beautiful colors up on her blog (and her website, where she sells the aforementioned beautiful colors), thus trying to tempt me to break my yarn diet. She also briefly mentions on her blog that she was having a quality issue with the yarn she was getting from her mill.

I think Lisa is awesome for catching the quality issue BEFORE the yarn went out to her customers. I will be filling most of my Space Bag with Lisa Souza, which means that I will have to make some sort of respectable progress on the sweater I started for Andrew a year and a half ago, or he may shame me in front of her again.

I am comparing Lisa's high quality to other yarn companies who routinely sell LOADS of yarn rife with knots in the skeins.

After looking at her colors, I have (possibly) elected to not re-subscribe to the current Sock-of-The-Every-Other-Month club that I am a part of, and instead, call Lisa once a month (because she is charming and really should be called once a month at least) and order one of her new colors in sock yarn.

Readers, Meet Madam

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Madam

Madam, meet my readers. She will be my lovely assistant as long as I have actual garments (rather than just socks) finished that require photography. Today she is modeling my completed Harlot Red ribbon tank.

Due to time/sunlight constraints, as well as a record number of questionable hair days, Madam will be my lovely model. Yes, by the time Andrew gets home after work, I look like I've been hit by a train, and there is like 10 seconds of daylight left.

I know, my readers are smart. They say, "Jasmin, why not take pictures on Saturday or Sunday?"

Silly reader. I don't wear makeup on the weekend. [EXCEPTION: I wore makeup to the Yarn Harlot thingie at Full Thread Ahead. You'll notice in the photo that I wore my completed Harlot Red Ribbon top. I looked dead in it without makeup.]

Madam, reliable thing that she is, has been infinitely more consistent in her appearance. She has that ultimately "natural" look, and it suits her. No head = no dark circles under her eyes.

You may look at her and think "My, isn't she lopsided!" I, too, expressed some concern over her appearance (I * may * have called her "Quasimodo") when I asked Mom if I could borrow her. Mom assures me that all Madam needs is a few good screws and some yoga in order to have her back in womanly shape. If Andrew can't get her properly screwed and bent, I will order a newer, prettier model.

Some FO-tos!

Blue stripey socks! (Meilenweit) Brown Stripey Socks! (Meilenwieit)

Lisa Souza, Earth Birth Ellen's Half-Pint Farm (no color listed)

In Praise of Men and Their Tools

Andrew is a rockin' stud. It's a given. Want to know what kind of mad skills this man has?

He re-plumbed the laundry room, fixing a leak. He replaced the copper pipes. By himself. Check it out.

He patched the hole he made to fix the pipes. (No picture. It looks like a wall. Not very exciting.)

He's unclogged the bathtub in our bathroom, and now he is working on replacing both upstairs bathroom fans.

The amazing thing is the time schedule that this has all been accomplished in.

9/14- Fixed Pipes
9/15- Ended Internship
9/16- Fixed Wall
9/17- Unclogged bathtub
9/18-20- Worked on Bathroom fans

We had to call an electrician to come in tonight because we decided that with the aluminum wiring that our little house has, we should call a professional instead of risking Andrew's life. Sentimental me, I'm a little attached to the fella. What can I say?

I used to think that the sexiest sight was a man in the kitchen. I think I may be shifting that to a man in a toolbelt.

[Sidenote: I have a GREAT picture of Andrew in an apron, but in order to keep this blog family-friendly, and in an effort to preserve my marriage, I can't post it. It's very Georgia O'Keefe, and he didn't realize I took it, despite my hysterical cackling. It also took him a minute to realize what it was when he was loading the pictures onto the computer. Bwa ha ha. Just think. This man is lucky enough to be married to a lunatic like me.]

These Sweaters May Be Too Small

Shame. Panic.

This is what I felt when I realized that the sweaters I have started for Andrew might be too small.

In my defense, I did a gauge swatch, and they fit with the proper ease when I started them. One was started in Fall of 2003 (the Alice Starmore Gansey), and the other (Lisa Souza Fair Isle) was started in August of 2005.

The ASG is the more troubling sweater, since the LSFI is only a few inches long. These sweaters have over 300 sts/round each. There are a bajillion stitches in the ASG. It's closer to completion, since I'm about halfway up the chest patterning. When I contemplated pulling it out of the UFO bin (as part of the UFO jihad), I realized that in the last three years, Andrew and I are older, and are both a little rounder.

This can go two ways.

Scenario 1: It fits, and I'm the only one who has had weight fluctuations.
Scenario 2: It doesn't fit.

In the event of Scenario 2 happening, I have come up with some solutions:

Option 1: Give the sweater to another freakishly tall person.
Option 1a: Shorten the sleeves and wear it as an oversized sweater with set-in sleeves.
Option 2: Buy Andrew a giant hamster ball so that he can work off any extra poundage until the sweater fits.
Option 3: Divorce Andrew. Call Matthew Gray Gubler, who is tall (6'2") and thin. Promise him a beautiful, complex, couture sweater in exchange for being my love slave.
Option 3a: Divorce Andrew. Call Robert Sean Leonard (who is 6 feet tall), and offer him the same deal as Matthew Gray Gubler. Let him know there's competitiion.
Option 4: Never finish the sweater, and avoid Lisa Souza forever. (This is not really an option since her yarn is like crack.)
Option 5: Finish the sweater and hope that one day we have a son that will fit the sweater.

What do you think? Vote in the sidebar!

Personal Shame, as Inflicted by Andrew

Nobody can embarrass you like your loved ones. This is a thing of fact. Your loved one(s) [this includes your knitting group, in my case the Minions of the Pointy Sticks] know about all of your skeletons, and most of all, what you are singularly horrified of the world knowing.

Andrew was walking the show with me, and we went to Lisa Souza's booth (a regular place we love to shop, both at shows and over the phone). Here's how it went:

Jasmin: Hi Lisa! How are you?

[Andrew, Lisa, Rod and I chit chat for a few minutes.]

Andrew: Hey Lisa, do you remember the yarn you dyed for that sweater for me a few months ago?

Lisa: Yes.

Andrew: Wouldn't you like to see it finished?

Lisa: [catches on to Andrew's evil scheme] I would love to see it finished.

Andrew: I bet you would like to see it finished by next Stitches.

Lisa: I would!

Jasmin: [Turning all shades of mortified red and purple] I cast it on…

That's right people. Andrew brought up an UFO in front of Lisa and I was shamed. I'm sure she doesn't hold my UFOs against me, but I was embarrassed that I hadn't finished the sweater from all the beautiful silk/wool she dyed especially for Andrew- at my request.

Here is how far the sweater has gotten,



and I only have 156 days until Stitches West.

I better get crackin'.

Knitters Gone Wild!

That's right- what do you get when you combine wool, wine and women?

KNITTERS GONE WILD!

Unfortunately, Snoop Dog couldn't join us to do the videotaping, so you'll have to deal with my pictures and (very brief) synopsis.

Saturday:

Wake up at 7:30. People are supposed to be at the house by 8:00. Brush teeth, put on clothes, pack like a madwoman.

8:30: Start packing the van.
8:45: Start rolling.
9:00: Mandatory Starbucks run, since it's by the onramp.
9:15- 1:00 PM: Drive to Auburn. Take the wrong exit, because it's counter-intuitive. Get back on track, see a deer, see llamas, get to Knitters' Paradise (aka, Auntie C's house).

There were kittens, which provided loads of entertainment and snuggling

There was cake!

And, of course, there were Minions




There was much knitting and eating- and the charming L was there. By the end of the weekend we made her a Minion. It was glorious.

For Love or Money

I'm not one of those generous people who hands out hand-knitted gifts to everyone who crosses my path. I'm actually very stingy with my knitting.

According to the law of Knitting Supply & Demand, the more stuff I give away, the less people will appreciate ("Demand") it. This is even more important, because once someone wears hand knit socks, the commercial socks in the drawer lose their appeal, and the recipient of the lone pair of hand knit socks begins to ask/beg/negotiate for more.

[Except for old socks. Everyone loves those, and I gave away a drawer full (more to come in a year, I suppose) making room for all of the new socks I had knitted.]

I think it's funny when people (in a complimentary way) suggest that I sell my hand-knitted socks. They don't realize that the materials alone usually cost about $20, and easily have 16-20 hours of work in a pair. They considerately see it as a quaint little hobby that could earn me some pin money** [click the link if you don't know what pin money is].
Really? Some pin money of my VERY own? Why, how thoughtful! I think sarcastically, but I say, "Some things I do for love, and some I do for money."

D, my boss, calculated at a lunch meeting what a custom "Made by Jasmin" sweater would cost, given my hourly rate here. I laughed hysterically while he verbalized the math he was doing in his head. If only the rest of the world saw it like that.

I will admit, that at my most desperate of financial times, I have knit for pay, completing sweaters for between $150-$300. The hourly rate would make you weep bitter, bitter tears if you had to make a living this way.

It's just interesting to me. I find other people's generosity with their knitted items to be staggeringly touching, but with the limited knitting time that I have, I'm stingy.

I'll share my home, my food, even my money sometimes. But knit for you? Pffft.

Do I like you that much?

New and Greatly Improved

We got our new washer and dryer delivered! It's the Kenmore, HE4T, which I've been lusting after for ages.

I would have taken pictures, but the laundry room is a tight squeeze, and the washer complained that I was making her look fat. Vanity, thy name is Washer.

[Pictures courtesy of Sears.com. I don't know why they have a disproportionately large picture of the dryer. In real life, they are the same size on the outside, and are not so freakishly sized.]

Well, as much as you can lust after a washer/dryer. There's a lust scale, and although washer/dryers sit pretty low on the list, when it comes to buying one, it begins to matter more.

I immediately started doing laundry like a madwoman. Two weeks without a functioning dryer and a mutual hatred of taking wet laundry to the Laundromat means that I did six loads of laundry. SIX.

I love it. It's basically silent (it makes a hum), and the pre-set settings keep it quiet and balanced. I can leave the laundry room door open, and still be able to hear things. It's glorious.